


Slow Movements

by UnderTheBedAndInYourHead



Series: Roads that Lead to You [2]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, HEaling Percy, Healing, I love everyone, M/M, Mentions of Rape, Part 2 of the Hitchhiker story, Rich Nico and Jason, Violence, maybe smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2019-10-18 17:06:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17584862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnderTheBedAndInYourHead/pseuds/UnderTheBedAndInYourHead
Summary: Percy is working on getting past his abusive relationship, he's trying to pick up all the pieces that were hidden from him and it's hard, it's really hard, but Jason and Nico are there and they are helping him and he's just falling more and more in love with them.Jason and Nico are more than relieved to know that Percy is safe, that they can help keep him safe. They also know that they love him. They just don't know how to tell him without making him feel trapped.So, from either side, it's just a lot of slow movements around each other as they all try to communicate how deep their feelings run.





	1. Sleeping

**Author's Note:**

> I thought we needed a fresh new beginning and a ton of fluff. Also, this is short, again. Ugh.

Jason lazily pushed his hand through Percy’s hair, brushing it away from his sleeping face. Nico’s legs were trapped underneath the weight of Percy’s and he had his thumb rubbing little circles against his slim ankle. The TV was on, but neither man was really paying attention to what was playing. It was late and they were sleepy, but they didn’t want to move and risk waking the man sprawled on top of them. He was just beginning to sleep on a proper schedule.

It had taken Nico and Jason a good two weeks to convince Percy to stay with them. He had been stressing over ads and the idea of a roommate, politely refusing their offers to let him move in. They had wanted to give them space and independence, they knew that he had been really struggling with everything inside his head from his recent, violent break up, to Annabeth’s words to the fact that he was unemployed.

“Just until you get back on your feet? Please, Percy, we want to help you.” Jason had asked, eyes earnest. He had his arm wrapped around Nico’s waist, they were both leaning against the counter, watching Percy’s eyes flicker around like he was lost.

“You guys, you have been so kind to me, probably to kind, considering how big of a mess I’ve left you with. But I can’t stay here, eating up your income and intruding on your lives. It’s not a very cool thing to do. I can find someplace to stay, really. I just need to find a job.”

Jason smiled. “C’mon, dude. You know you’re not intruding on anything. We like you here, we want you here. We just need to know that you’re safe and okay. Because we care about you.” 

He had given a few more protests, tried to extricate himself graciously, even though he wanted to cry at the thought of leaving. But Jason was being so kind, Nico was looking at him softly and hopefully and somehow their insistence didn’t feel like he was being trapped, but being welcomed. And since Percy was trying his damnedest not to blame himself for his situation, he relented and he stayed.

This was nice. This was good, Jason thought. Percy’s hair was so soft, his breathing so even and measured. He drooled in his sleep, sometimes making little snoring noises, his fingers gave an involuntary twitch where they were lightly gripping Jason’s thigh. Jason stared blearily at Percy’s sleeping face, focusing on the little flecks of scars that danced across the man’s cheekbones. There was an abrupt flash of anger and then Jason felt Nico’s arm on his back, smoothing down his T-shirt and filling him with calm. God, did he love Nico.

Nico shifted a little on the couch, reaching for the remote for the T.V. “We should put him to bed. It’s late. Plus, my butt’s falling asleep.” Nico spoke, his voice was low and sleep-rough. Jason chuckled, tilting the side of his mouth up in a smile.

“You’re probably right, I just don’t want to wake him.”

“I know. But still, he’d be more comfortable in a bed, don’t you think?”

Jason nodded, brushing back Percy’s hair one last time before he moved to get up, sliding his palm to cup the back of his neck for support. Percy let out an annoyed grunt and tried to curl himself into the back of the couch. Jason shushed him, pulling him towards the edge and then scooping him up gently in his arms. Nico stood up after being freed from the cage that Percy’s feet had acted as and moved towards his boyfriend, coming close so that he could gently turn Percy's head so that it nestled into Jason’s shoulder.

“Do you need help carrying him?” Nico asked softly, knowing that it was really unnecessary to ask. Percy was a fit guy, but he was lean and light to pick up. Nico thought the guy needed to eat more.

“No, I’m okay. Thanks, sweetheart.”

“No problem.” Nico leaned in over Percy’s still, thankfully sleeping, body and planted a warm kiss against Jason’s mouth. Soft lips, the beginnings of stubble that he would be shaving off come morning. Jason’s mouth was a little buttery from the popcorn they had been eating a little while before, when their movie watching was a priority. Jason, hands full, was only able to lean into it, relaxing into the cool touch of Nico’s ever chilly skin. Nico reached a hand forward, cupping the back of his boyfriends head and thumbing over the short hairs there, pulling him in closer. When Nico jostled against Percy, he pulled back, sniggering as Percy let out another annoyed sound, scrunching his nose and fisting Jason’s loose shirt in his calloused hands.

“Oops,” Nico whispered, smiling and feeling a wash of affection sweep through him at the sight of his wrapped up in Jason’s hold.

Jason sighed down at the man in his arms, then leaned forward for another quick kiss, being careful not to bump Percy this time. After they pulled away from each other, Nico followed Jason down the hallway and up the stairs to deposit Percy into the spare bedroom they had given to Percy while he was living with them.

At first, the man had been sleeping in the same bed as Jason and Nico, unable to fall asleep any other way. It didn’t bother the two men in the least, but Percy had seemed embarrassed with sleeping between them and had insisted on staying in another room if he was going to live with them. The two men had missed his warm, heavy presence between them in bed, but they didn’t want to push anything on the other man, so they let him go with little protest, trying to make it clear to him that they didn’t think that he was in the way of anything.

They didn’t miss the way Percy had looked down at his feet with a blush and they didn’t miss the melancholiness of his eyes when he thought they weren’t looking. Percy obviously hadn’t wanted to leave their bed either.

Nico watched as Jason laid Percy down on the bed, slipping his socks off of his feet. Thankfully the man was already in sweatpants, so they knew that he would be comfortable. Jason pulled the blankets over his form and brushed back his hair once more, his fingertips tender against Percy’s temple. 

“Sleep tight,” he whispered, before turning away to leave with Nico.

As they closed the door behind them, they both heard Percy’s calm, whispered  _ ‘Thank you’ _

_____________________

“Nico,” Jason whispered. The seriousness of his voice shook Nico out of his almost-slumber and he turned in the bed to see his boyfriend lying on his back, facing the ceiling.

“Yeah, Jason? What’s up” Nico answered back, his voice rough

“I-” Jason stopped, frowned and turned to face his boyfriend in bed. “Nico. I think I love Percy.”

Nico was still for a moment, watching Jason’s face, which was tight with trepidation and worry that Nico would think that he meant that he didn’t love him anymore. Nico just gave him a soft smirk, wanting to laugh at how unnecessary that trepidation and worry was.

“I know, Jason. I think I love him too.”

Jason’s shoulders sagged in relief.

“Thank god. I was kind of worried I’d be alone in this.”

“You’re not. He’s something special. He’s just so strong and beautiful and kind, like you. I want him lying here between us just as much as you do, love. I just hope that we’re not alone in this.”

“Yeah.” Jason wrapped an arm around his lover’s waist, pulling him in close. “I hope so too.”

 


	2. Eggs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Surprise! I'm back with a new chapter and it hasn't been three months yet! Don't get used to it! ;)

Percy woke to the  sounds of birds chirping. That was something that he still hadn’t gotten used to. In this lovely little Suburbia, there were birds, in his old apartment, there were car alarms and the sound of a rattling vent. The comforter was soft around him and his naturally tan skin felt warm from sleep. He knew that it was still early in the morning, he still couldn’t ditch the wonky sleep schedule he had been holding through his old job at the nightclub or at McDonalds. 

Last night had been nice. Wonderful, really. He remembered being pulled down to sit between Jason and Nico(he knew it was only so he didn’t feel left out or ostracized, but he appreciated the gesture anyway) and watching some silly movie he remembered from his childhood. He remembered feeling warm and comfortable and what he fuzzily knew was the feeling of Jason pulling him down to lay against him as he drifted somewhere on the border of unconsciousness. 

He didn’t usually sleep well, between the schedule he was used to keeping and the nightmares he had about Luke. Sometimes, in the line that separated Percy from wakefulness and slumber, he would somehow imagine that Luke was sliding under the covers next to him, was trailing his fingers down along his hips, was squeezing too tight, was whispering something cruel. He would jerk awake, suddenly, staring at the blankets beside him and feeling terrified. Sleep just couldn’t find him after that.

The first few nights that he had enjoyed Jason and Nico’s hospitality, he had allowed himself the guilty indulgence of lying between them. It was the only place that he felt safe, the only place where he couldn’t imagine Luke possibly fitting. But he couldn’t stay there, couldn’t keep lying between them and imposing himself. He knew that sharing a bed was an intimate thing and that he didn’t belong there, even if the bed was big enough for three. It must have been awkward and annoying to have someone lying in the space between their respective lover. When Jason and Nico convinced him to stay, he knew that a line had to be drawn. 

So most nights, instead of sleeping, tucked warm and safe between two men, Percy would wander downstairs and sit on the couch, turned around in his seat and put his knees in the cushions, so that he could lean against the back of it and watch the neighborhood through the window.

He did this partly because he thought it was beautiful and calm and partly because he needed to keep an eye out for Luke, just in case he came looking for him. It was stupid, his paranoia, but it seemed like he couldn’t escape it. 

Sometimes one of the men would wander downstairs and find him there, Nico or Jason, and he would just tell them that he couldn’t sleep, that he hadn’t adjusted yet. But he knew that they saw through him. One night, only a few days ago, both men had come down the stairs and settled down next to him on either side. They sat silently and the three of them watched together.

___________________

Percy hadn’t talked to Annabeth since that day when he went into hysterics in the middle of a coffee shop. She had called twice, left a couple of messages and Percy had listened to them. She had awkwardly apologized the first time, said that she was wrong to say the things that she did, that he was her friend just as much as Luke was and that she would like to try talking to him again. The second time she called it was to tell Percy that she knew he needed time and that she had to go back to San Francisco and call him when she had the chance to come back to New York. It wasn’t that Percy was really _mad_ at Annabeth, he knew that she was sorry and was well acquainted with her hubris and the fact that she had acknowledged that she was wrong was  _ huge _ . But she was right, he needed time. If he talked to her now, he would probably start hyperventilating all over again. He was trying not to do that in front of people anymore.

___________________

Jason and Nico were already in the kitchen when Percy made it downstairs. Some days it took longer than others for him to find a reason to crawl his way out of bed, but he tried to be downstairs before the two men left for work, he hated to be doing nothing while they left to earn an actual freaking living. They were both mostly ready to go, Nico leaning against the counter, navy suit jacket draped over a sculpted forearm, coffee cup in one hand, what was probably an important piece of paper in the other. The sunlight from the window above the sink glinted off his dark, curling hair where it fell into his face a bit as he was looking down. He always looked so damn polished in the morning, suits and silk neckties and a bit of hair gel. The only thing that ruined the image of his mafia boss facade was the lack of shoes, his sock covered toes wiggling. Nico wasn’t a morning person, Percy had learned, his resting bitch face a little bit bitchier before his third cup of coffee. It was kind of adorable.

Jason was sitting, dressed a bit more casual for his work day. Black slacks, light blue, button down shirt and a thundercloud grey tie. His blonde hair was artfully styled and he looked mostly relaxed. He was the morning person out of the three of them, he didn’t even  _ drink  _ coffee, opting for squeezing a few oranges at some ungodly hour in the morning. Percy felt a little smile tug at the corner of his mouth, Jason’s gold rimmed glasses sat tilted once again on his face as he scrolled through messages on his phone. Percy wondered if the frames were actually bent out of shape.

Percy, in his worn jeans, faded graphic tee and untamable hair, felt overwhelmingly under-dressed, like he always did in the mornings. Always being reminded that he was out of a job and if he did finally find one, he would never  _ ever _ be important enough to warrant wearing a silk tie.

The two men both looked up upon him entering the room and the soft fondness that immediately lit up both their faces made Percy want to simultaneously take a step forward and take a step back. He wasn’t sure what he had done to earn that look from them, but he was sure that whatever it was, he didn’t deserve it. Maybe he had said something stupid in his sleep.

That was it, yes, the look wasn’t fondness, his brain corrected for him, it was pity.

Percy felt his heart sink. Wasn’t it a little early to start with the self- loathing?

He cleared his throat roughly.

“Morning guys,” he greeted, somewhat awkwardly, giving a small wave and then cursing himself for acting like a dumbass.

Jason and Nico didn’t seem to notice that he was making a fool of himself this morning, instead, they said good morning back, although it seemed as though Nico found the words painful to say. No morning was a good morning to Nico diAngelo, Percy thought and smiled to himself.

“Breakfast, Percy?” Jason offered sunnily, pointing to the carton of eggs on the marble counter and the frying pan that looked like it was still hot.

He was hungry, yes, but the guilt churned in his gut again at the offer to eat food that he in no way paid for.

“No, thanks, Jason. I’m really not hungry” Percy said, hoping he was hiding his lie decently enough. He folded his arms nervously, then dropped them. Fidgeting was a sign of lying. Dammit.

Jason looked concerned, Nico putting his coffee cup down and moving to place his paper atop his briefcase that lay on the very end of the table.

Jason frowned at Percy, managing to look decently authoritative. “Percy, we talked about this. The food in this house is to be shared by all of us. You don’t have to starve yourself because you think that you don’t deserve to eat. Nico and I make enough money that we could buy a grocery store if we wanted to. Heck, we donate money to homeless shelters and programs that feed kids. I think that you can eat a couple of eggs.” Jason looked so determined to convince Percy to eat breakfast, the stern look on his face almost made Percy want to step away from him.

Jason must have noticed, because a moment later he was out of his chair and wrapped around him, pulling into a hug. “Hey, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you, I just- Percy- I don’t want you to keep doing this to yourself. You need to know that even if you were unemployed forever, Nico and I could keep us fed long after we don't have teeth anymore. And it’s not a big deal and you don’t have to punish yourself. You were dealt a shitty hand, you were forced to leave your job, you were basically forced out of your home. The least we can do as-” Jason hesitated for a second, long enough to silently grit his teeth, “friends, is help get you back on your feet.” Percy didn’t even realize he was crying until he felt a damp spot on Jason’s shirt. He pulled back quickly, almost stumbling out of the embrace, but Jason held him steady.

“Jesus, Jason, I’m so freaking sorry, I don’t know what I- god, your shirt.”

There was a wet spot on Jason’s shoulder, darkening the blue material. Percy felt so goddamn embarrassed with himself and it wasn’t even 8:30 yet.

Jason looked at him softly, he didn’t even look mildly upset. He brushed the back of his fingers against Percy’s wet cheek, wiping the tears away. “Don’t worry about it, okay?”

“Okay,” Percy breathed, breath hitching, feeling a little bit confused at the tenderness of the action.

Jason smiled and left to change his shirt.

Nico asked him how he liked his eggs as he cracked them into the pan, dark eyes shimmering with- something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! I know, new chapter so soon? Am I sick? Have I been kidnapped and replaced? No, no I have not, promise. It just flowed out last night.  
> Thank you guys for all your comments. I really do love you people who have been here through all my teenage life problems. I don't know what I'd do without you.


	3. Fingers

They sat down in the living room, sipping milk and eating the day old pastries that Percy had brought from work. The job he found didn’t make fantastic money, but it was still good enough to keep him from feeling like a complete nuisance. 

The bakery was nice, well lit, cozy and it smelled very nice. The complete opposite of Reyna’s club and the crappy Mc’ds he was used to. It was easy work, bagging pastries and bagels, pouring coffee, not the fancy Starbucks kind either, just regular good coffee with cream and sugar. He wiped down tables, refilled napkin dispensers, said good morning and good afternoon to customers, smiled.

It made him money, it gave him something to do, for the most part it alleviate his guilt about staying with Jason and Nico and it kept his mind busy, off of Luke.

He was feeling useful and that was helping.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t come to you first, mom. I just- I just didn’t want to bother you and Paul- I know that you’re in the middle of writing and Paul is so busy with the kids at school and I…”

“And you what, darling?”

Percy looked down, picking at his crumbly pastry. His face wrinkled a bit in thought, his thick black eyebrows pushed downwards.

“I didn’t want to disappoint you. Mom- you warned me about Luke and you told me that you didn’t trust him and I’m so sorry that you had to sit here without me while I went off to prove you right. I just couldn’t come back here and let you see how much I messed up. God, mom. I messed up, didn’t I?” 

Sally’s watched her son with sadness. There was something that her son wasn’t telling her, something that was tearing him up and that made her ache. She reached forward and lifted the plate out of Percy’s hand, setting it down on the coffee table. The pastry was just sticky crumbs now, ripped apart pieces. Brushing a hand through his hair, like she so often used to do, she pulled him towards her and into a tight embrace. It only took a second before he clung to her, heedless of his sticky fingers. She kissed to top of his head and it was just like he was a child again, small in her arms despite how much he had grown. She felt him shake quietly and her own eyes start to water. Her poor boy, her poor, sweet little boy. Always trying to help people, always trying to save them.

“You don’t have to tell me anything, sweetheart,” she whispered into his hair softly, carding a hand through. “Just remember that you can, remember that you can tell me anything, Percy. Anything at all.” She felt him nod against her collarbone, just once, but that was enough. They stayed that way for a few moments more, Percy’s tall frame bent almost in half as he collected himself against his mother’s shoulder. This was where he was safest.

When Percy finally sat up, Sally smiled at him and took both his hands in hers. They were so much smaller against her son’s and she could remember when it was the opposite, remembered when his were small and chubby, remembered picking him up from school and being handed an art project, his little handprint in plaster on a paper plate. Back then it was easy to keep him safe and close to her.

“Sweetheart. I need you to know that you will always be welcome here. Always, no matter what. It’s not your fault that Luke is the way he is or that he did what he did.” She waited for him to nod, looking away. “And Perseus,” she said sternly, with conviction. Percy looked at her, eyebrows down again. “You have never,  _ never _ \- disappointed me.”

_________________

Percy got back late to Nico and Jason’s, slipping his key into the lock and trying to turn it quietly. He slipped through the door and into the darkness of the front hall, flicking the deadbolt back into place. Jason and Nico had told him that they were planning to install an alarm system and had been for a while  but Percy was half suspicious that they were doing it for his sake.

The light  was on in the hall, Jason and Nico had work the next morning, so Percy doubted that they were still up. It was a nice gesture, though, not letting him wander about in the dark.

Quietly, he dropped his key in the little bowl on the sideboard in the entryway, toeing his shoes off and bracing himself against the wall as he did so, his slender fingers flexing a little bit under his weight. He placed his well worn sneakers down among Nico and Jason’s collection of footwear and wandered tiredly into the house. He swept his eyes briefly over the living room, clean but lived in, peppered with photographs and a small pile of paperwork on the coffee table. There were bookshelves and a dying houseplant in the corner by the window. It was a good room, comfortable. Percy fell into the couch, stared at the ceiling.

Seeing his mother had awoken something inside of him, it wasn’t like any of the pain left, but some of the fear had. His mother loved him, she had told him, had always told him and he had always believed her. 

Until Luke. 

But Luke was gone, at least for now and he still wouldn’t sleep peacefully, he knew. But his mother loved him, the look in her eyes when she had said so had left no room for argument and he wanted to believe her so bad, believe someone other than Luke and his stupid fucking lies. So he did, he was once again loved and that knowledge made him want to crack and cry, or smile, or both.

____________________

_ “So, Jason and Nico, huh? Are they cute?”  _ Sally had asked him, smiling teasingly

_ “Mom, they’re beautiful.”  _ He had replied, not even blushing.

_____________________________________

Percy woke early, before Jason was even up, which was amazing. His neck had a crick in it from sleeping on the couch for- He checked the clock- four hours. The man sat up slowly, twisting a little to hear the satisfying pop of his back, lifting his arms over his head, stretching lean muscle and clasping his hands together, locking his elbows. He let out a yawn, pink lips stretching wide over slightly crooked teeth, nose crinkling, green eyes closing, black eyebrows pinched together. 

He wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep, he knew, but he wasn’t particularly tired anyway. After so many nights spent awake, staring at streetlights through the picture window, four hours felt like plenty. Heading up the staircase as quietly as he could, Percy walked down the hall and into his bedroom, closing the door almost all the way shut behind him. It was still early, almost five am, but for once he was bursting with the need to move instead of his usual state of physical apathy. Percy shucked off his jeans, opting for a pair of sweats before changing out of yesterday’s shirt, instead pulling on a slim fitting grey hoodie. He made his way back downstairs and into the front hall, pulled on his shoes, grabbed the keys from the bowl and left the house, locking the door before he set off running.

Percy’s feet pounded pavement, striking up a rhythm that grew faster and faster as he gained speed. He passed house after house, large and looming in the shadows of early dawn. Manicured lawns passed by, early spring flowers, fences, he kept running and running and running and not thinking and just breathing until his breath started to catch in his throat and his side began the burn and ache and his legs felt like jelly. It was good, so good to not think.

Percy rubbed a hand down his face, scrunched his eyes closed tightly for a moment and when he opened them again the morning was even brighter, the soft yellow sun creeping up, turning the clouds pink, the sky a pastel painting.

____________

Jason and Nico were downstairs in a panic when they heard a key in the lock and they both scrambled towards the door to find Percy with his back turned to them, sliding the deadbolt closed. Relief flooded through the two men as Percy turned to them, looking confused.

“Hey guys, what are you-” He didn’t get to finish his sentence as he was suddenly enveloped by Jason’s muscular figure, Nico’s slimmer one attacking him less than a breath later. Percy let out an  _ ‘oof’  _ noise, completely surprised by their reaction.

“Jesus christ,” Jason huffed into his ear. “When we woke up and you weren’t home we just thought…  _ Jesus Christ, Percy. _ ”

Oh.

“Oh my god, you guys, I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize… Fuck, I should have left a note.” Percy immediately felt bad. He couldn’t believe that he had worried these men like this, that they had welcomed him into their home and morning routine and he had managed to make them panic over his absence. God, he was  _ useless.   _

Jason and Nico released their hold on him, stepping back a little, both looking over the man to make sure that he was okay. He was sweaty, wearing running clothes, looking gorgeous with a flush on his face, black hair dampened with sweat, breath still uneven. The man had gone for a run, obviously and Jason and Nico had almost had a meltdown searching for him. God, they were so fucking stupid.

Jason’s shoulders slumped in relief, Nico’s eyebrows relaxed.

“No, Percy, no. We’re sorry. We shouldn’t have panicked like that, you’re a grown man and have every right to go for a morning run without leaving a note. Jesus Christ. God. Nico and I are both idiots.” Jason said, rubbing sheepishly at the back of his neck.”

Nico sighed, reaching over to pull his partner into his side and hold him there.

“What we mean is that we were in bed last night and didn’t hear you come home, we just assumed that you hadn’t and managed to think up ten different scenarios as to why. We’re sorry, really, we are. You don’t need us stifling you and making you feel guilty for something that isn’t your fault.”

Percy wrinkled his brows. “What? Just like that, you’re not angry with me for worrying you?”

Nico’s perfect mouth turned down slightly. “No. Why would we be angry at you for our overreaction? It’s not like it’s your fault.”

Huh. That was new. He hadn’t done anything wrong. He was used to doing things wrong, to being yelled at for it. Luke had always been worried too. Worried where he had been, about what he had been doing, who he’d been with. It occurred, suddenly, to Percy, that he had never been worried about whether or not he’d been safe.

Percy smiled, his chest felt warm. So this is what it felt like to have someone worried for him, for someone, other than his mother, to wonder if he was alright. It felt good. 

In a moment of spontaneity, he stepped forward reached out with both hands, grasping both Nico’s and Jason’s and gave their fingers a tight, reassuring squeeze.

“I’m okay. Thank you for worrying.” Then, very briefly, he brushed his lips against Nico’s fingertips before remembering himself and dropping both hands, mortified with himself.

He took a stumbling step backwards and bumped into the sideboard, a bit of pain flared where he had jabbed himself with the corner or the furniture, but he was much too busy panicking over what he had done to really register it.

“God, I’m- I’m sorry,” he breathed out, before brushing quickly past the two men and making a beeline for the staircase, nearly falling on his way up.

Jason and Nico stood in the entryway for a moment longer, surprised and pleased at the almost kiss against Nico’s fingers. Jason started after a second and made to follow Percy up the stairs, to tell him it was okay, that they wanted him, but Nico’s hand on his arm made him come to a halt.

“Not yet, sweetheart. He’s not ready for it yet.”

And Nico was right. Percy was confused and probably frightened now. He’d have to come to them on his own, Jason just hoped that that time would be soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what has it been? Five months? Six?  
> Has it been half a year?  
> God, you guys. I'm so sorry.  
> Excuses are useless, but I'm going to tell you about my life anyways, because I missed you all, if you're still reading this, I understand if your not. I know unreliable people are the worst.  
> So, new place, new job, new chapter? That's about it.  
> Thank you guys for all your comments in the earlier chapters. I'm going to try to reply to all of them, but not tonight, I have to put sheets on my bed and I'm a bit tipsy with orange juice and vodka.   
> I don't really know if this chapter is any good or if there is really a point in it at all. I've opened this document so many times over the past few months, but nothing came out, every button I pushed was the wrong one, every sentence I typed didn't fit. All my characters are ooc and there really isn't much of a plot. But, here's another chapter, here are some more words, some more sentences.  
> I hope you are all doing well and I hope that writing becomes easier, that I draw more often, that I paint whether the end result is good or not. I hope that words are forthcoming and that I can make this story grow properly, like the sunflower on the balcony. I hope that sailing is smooth and that the sun rises despite the night being so dark and impenetrable. I hope that my tipsy ramblings stop soon because this is ridiculous. Goodnight, sleep tight.  
> Seriously though. Are there spelling mistakes in here?


	4. Dishwater

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello.  
> It's short, but it's an update!

 

Percy had made a move on Nico. What the hell was he thinking. 

Nico was Jason’s boyfriend. Jason and Nico loved each other, deserved each other, he would never want to come between them. I mean, yes he would, but not like _ that _ .

And see, it was those sort of thoughts that  _ really _ made him feel like a tramp. They would never want him that way and that was a fact. This arrangement was working well, for the most part, why the  _ hell _ did he have to go and make it awkward? _ Fuuuuck. _

But Jason and Nico hadn’t looked disgusted or horrified or any of that. They had been… surprised? Percy distinctly remembered Nico’s mouth twitching into a bit of a smile. Not a cruel one either. Was it maybe… hopeful? But no. No, it couldn’t have been, he must have been imagining things. Jesus. 

Percy grabbed a towel out of the linen closet and walked to the bathroom across the hall as quietly as he could. It wasn’t difficult, it wasn’t like the floor was going to creak or anything, but still, he tiptoed. Old habits die hard. He closed the door behind him and started shucking off his sweaty clothes a little bit angrily. He planned to be in the shower until Jason and Nico left for work, that way he wouldn’t have to sit through an awkward breakfast while trying to avoid their pitiful gazes. Because Percy had a crush. A crush that had budded probably as soon as the two men had helped him into their vehicle, a crush that had started to blossom with every kind word, every worried glance, every pinch of Nico’s brows or downturn of Jason’s mouth. Every upturn too, because god those men were breathtaking when they smiled. And then they had been there for him and they had helped him and they had been relationship role models that demonstrated what love should look like between two people.

Growing up, Percy had never really been exposed to healthy romantic relationships. His father hadn’t been around when he was young, so even though he knew that his mother had loved him, he hadn’t gotten to see what that really looked like. 

Don had been married when he had seduced Percy’s mom, he had left soon after Percy was born to go back to his other, more important family somewhere in Hawaii or whatever. He had sent checks, birthday cards too, for a while before he had stopped all contact. The way his mother told it was sweeter than the reality, Sally still had rose coloured glasses on, said that Don was in an arranged marriage, wasn’t happy and had fallen in love with her, she hadn’t known about his other life where he was a rich business man with like, forty kids. Percy personally thought that his dad was a giant piece of crap who had no right to do what he had done and didn’t want anything to do with him in childhood or adulthood.

So, no. That relationship was not one he wanted for himself.

Then, there had been Gabe.

That particular marriage was out of necessity, they needed money, Gabe had some, Sally had been desperate and worried about her son not being fed. Gabe sucked ass, Percy got beat when his mother wasn’t looking and Gabe stunk up the place with his shitty cologne and cigars that made Percy’s stomach roil. It was even worse when he was up close and personal with him, grubby fist twisted in his shirt, feet off the floor, back against a wall and sour breath in his face. He took the punches and would have been ashamed to admit that yes, he had cried, when he was younger at least. By the time he hit nine years old, it took a glass bottle bursting beside his head to get him to make any sound at all, even then, it was more of a startled noise than a scream.

When his mother had come home from work one day to see Gabe with his fist raised at Percy, that was it, he was gone.

Percy had lied and told her that that was the first time that he had been threatened. He knew she didn’t believe him, but she didn’t push and for the next year he could hear her crying at night when she thought he was asleep.

Even with that experience under his belt, Percy had always known that his mother hadn’t loved Gabe, that he hadn’t loved his mother either. He knew that beating him wasn’t okay, he knew that his mother probably had been hit too, maybe worse, but he was still a boy, just twelve years old. He figured back then that it would be different if they had loved each other, that Gabe was just an asshole, one in a million.

Paul was great. When his mother was with Paul, she was the happiest he had ever seen her. But by then he was older, by then he and Luke had already been making out under the bleachers for a solid three months and he thought he was falling in love too. Paul married his mother, Percy was the best man, Percy left to live with Luke.

That was it. That was all of it. 

Don,

Gabe,

Paul,

Luke.

They were all different men, it’s funny really how only Paul was a good one.

But that was the thing, really. His father: Nonexistent. Gabe: Heartless bastard intent on making his life hell. Paul: Good guy, really sweet, made his mother smile.

Luke: Good guy, made Percy smile, had the same scars as him too. Absent, asshole father, tons of different schools, abuse in the foster system. 

But he carried his scars differently than Percy. Percy wanted to hide his, Luke wanted to use his as a weapon, something that he could take advantage of, he wanted people to know what they were there, not because he was proud of his struggle, but because he wanted their pity, he wanted to use it. He used them against Percy and he had let him do it, thinking that he could help.

But Nico and Jason? They were perfect. Of course, they probably had their share of fights, but the way that they looked at each other? Percy had never had the chance to really look into that. Paul and Sally had it, but he hadn’t been around long enough to really see it. Besides that, Paul was marrying his mother, so he had been a little wary back then too, a little analytical.

Jason and Nico were so good at loving each other. It showed in every gesture, every little movement, every expression. They talked without using their lips, they found a way to touch from opposite sides of the table, feet brushing legs, hooking pinkies from different sides of the couch.

And Percy  _ wanted _ that. 

But it wasn’t for him.

___________________________

Percy spent his day inside. He didn’t eat a damn thing, even though his stomach was growling. He was much too busy mulling over bad choices and years of wasted time and feelings. He tried so hard not to have those types of thoughts, those kind of feelings. Because they sucked. Like, really,  _ really _ sucked. The fact that he had spent so much time with such an asshole made him angry all the time, so fucking angry. At Luke, at _ himself _ more often than not. Because here he was, sitting in a room, past twenty two years old and full of so much emotional baggage it was amazing that he managed to get his heavy body up the goddamn staircase. And it was hurting him. It was always hurting him. He couldn’t feel like he was anything but broken, all used up and empty and void of usefulness.

He had to shake himself out of this funk. When was there going to be a day where he didn’t think about Luke? When was there going to be a day where he didn’t feel the weight of all his bad decisions crushing him like the angry stomp of a boot. 

Percy had never been a very confident person, but nowadays, it felt like he felt less and less like he was worthy of anything. All he wanted was to be held. All the time, all the fucking time. And he knew that Nico and Jason would do that for him, if he only asked them to. But he wouldn’t ask them to. Couldn’t ask them to. Because, today, more than usual, Percy felt disgusting.

He had rubbed his skin raw, in the shower. He had scrubbed until he glowed and burned. The hot water in Jason and Nico’s house was endless and he had taken advantage of that. Turning the temperature up and up until he felt that he was boiling the putrefaction that was nestled inside of him, trying to decontaminate himself.

When he slowly climbed to his feet from where he had found himself curled against the side of the tub, his body was shaky and stinging. His skin hurt and he was red. He pounded a fist weakly against the tiles of the wall as he moved to turn the water off and let out a choked off sob. He stumbled out of the bathtub, grabbing a towel with desperation and pushing his face into it’s soft, bundled up surface. Percy lent his body weight against the sink and heaved muffled breaths. His chest was most often lean and tan, but right now it was puffed full of air that Percy couldn’t release properly. It hurt and the skin was lobster red, aching and tender. All that hot water and still, he didn’t feel cleaner.

___________________________________

When Jason and Nico got home from work, Percy had already gotten dinner going. It was the least he could do, really, to make up for the awkward moment he had unleashed that morning.

The table was set, drinks were poured, Percy was panicking . 

But when Jason and Nico came home, nothing was different, they weren't distancing themselves from him, they didn't give him odd looks or bring up what Percy had done that morning. They just seemed genuinely grateful that  he had cooked, had gone to wash up and then sat down to eat with him.

Everything was normal. If anything, the men were even gentler than usual, not in a patronizing way either. Just, it seemed, softer.

And later, when Percy burst into tears in the middle of washing dishes, Jason and Nico wrapped themselves around him and held him through it. 

Soapy dishwater hands be damned.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me if that chapter made any sense at all, please.  
> Sometimes I don't make sense.


End file.
